(5oeme seconde) So let's start with the basics. (5oeme seconde)

Tissues. Perfectly acceptable backstop for all that creamy italian.

It can be rough and dry on such soft sensitive skin, not to mention that can stick to your dick head like a fucking band-aid.


From there we move onto more lubricated ***,


Specifically bananas.

Step 1: peel the banana.
Step 2: slip the peel over your Andy Johnson, start pitching.
Now for extra credit, warm up the peal in the microwave...
Not too hot!

Serious yowza.

Also olive oil, moisturizer, honey, spit, butter, hair conditioner and vaseline can all be used for lube.

In my opinion, the best lube...is lube.


So save your allowance. Invest in some soon. Alright, moving on.
When you tug your Thomas on the toilet... shoot right into the bowl.

In bed, soft t-shirt, perhaps a downy handtowel if you're very horny and you don't mind tossing after tossing.


There's no such thing as polishing the raised scepter of love too much.
It reduces stress. It enhances immune function.

Also: practice makes perfect so work on your control now while you're a solo artist.

You'll be playing some long happy duets in the future.


Alright, class dismissed.